Tuesday, March 27, 2018

The Overwhelming Aromas of Shopping

I found this picture on line.  It kind of give the feeling of how fast I was
walking.  Well, not that fast.  :-)
Yesterday I experienced something that I am sure a few of you have experienced as well.  It all started at the produce department at the grocery store.  I had picked out my organic, onions, broccoli and tomatoes and was heading down the bakery aisle to see if there might be some interesting bread.  The bakery department is located next to the fish area.  I never go to the end of the aisle there because the smell of fish is disgusting.

 I take a stroll down the wine aisle and notice a woman zipping toward me.  As she passed me, I caught a whiff of a quite an unpleasant odor.  The miasma of a fresh fart filled the wine aisle.  No wonder she was walking at such a brisk pace.  I bet she let one go not far from me and did not realize that the stench was following her.  Moving quickly toward the next aisle I could not help but visualize the vaporous aura following her.  It looked like minuscule brown droplets swirling around her.

As I am walking down the next aisle, I see her again.  She is coming right at me.  We pass again and again I smell the reeking stench of flatulence.  Why is she doing this?  Maybe she can not help it.  Maybe she has a medical condition. I have convinced myself that this poor woman is not well, and that I was too quick to judge.  I decided to skip a few aisles though, so that our paths would not cross.  This woman must have had the same thoughts because she met me at the pasta aisle.  I managed to smile and nod as I held my breath.

I skipped a couple more aisles.  My focus was getting away from this woman and I had forgotten what other items I needed to buy.  When we met again in the cereal aisle, I began to wonder if I was being stalked by her.  Every time I tried a new route, she would be in there, always with the fart smell.  It became so bad that even when she was not near me, I could detect her gaseous emissions.  The best solution for me was to go through check out and leave.  She was no where to be seen but I knew she was near. The odor was still wafting past me.

Out the door, fresh air! Free at last! Free at last!  The most disconcerting part to me was the feeling of being followed.  Even when I could not see her I could smell her presence.  Was this just a big joke for her?  I got to my car and headed home.  My imagination was getting the best of me because I could still smell her noxious gasses.  I knew she had not followed me home, but the odor just clung to me.

And then I wondered??  Maybe it was not her!  Maybe the odor was not someone breaking wind in the grocery store aisles.  Maybe it is ME!  I did a smell check and came out okay.  Later that day, opening the refrigerator for some water, I was hit with the worse fart smell ever.  Was it something that I bought?  Had my grocery cart carried something that reeked of someone letting one rip that I had blamed on some poor woman who happened to pass me in the aisle?  I did the sniff test and found the culprit.  The broccoli almost knocked me over, even in its plastic container.  Just one small piece of broccoli was spoiled, but created such a horrid odor.  The borccoli was sent to the porch while I cleaned the rest of the refrigerator shelves because I swore the odor had found a home inside.

The lesson I learned from this is to not automatically think someone else has caused a problem when it could very well be me....or my broccoli.  At least I have a fresh, clean refrigerator and the broccoli has found its new home outside in the garbage bin.

Here is the broccoli in its new home.

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