I will try to write it the best I can remember. This was written by a young boy who struggled in school. He reminded me of Huckelberry Finn.
Title: "DONT THRO AIGS AT BARN SIDES"
One day I wuz walkin in are farm feeld and saw an aig on the ground.
I figerd it wuz rottin so i picked it up an thru it at the side of the barn.
It hit the barn and it weren't rottin. That aig ran down the barn and looked just like butter slidin down.
I found another aig.
More aigs and more butter slidin down makin pretty dezines.
All of suddent I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up and saw my dad lookin at me.
"Follow me,son" he said. I thoght he was gonna set my pants afire.
I followed him to the kitchen.
"CRACK! He cracked an aig into a bowl. "Crack!" There was another aig.
He looked down at me and said, "Eat up son."
I looked down at that bowl and saw them two yeller eyes lookin up at me. I drunk it down fast and I ain't never throwed an aig at a barn again.
This writing was so refreshing and made me laugh and also followed the instructions of using comparisons. I asked the young man if I could read it to the class. His face just beamed as I said, "Now this is an example of a good story teller."